Mahatao NHS - Batch '01

I've never been the class favorite and I admit I'm guilty for the past few years that I've ignored my lifetime friends. But after a while, I made up my mind and started to look back to what made of who I am today and decided to pay them what I owe.

It was a really nice, no... not just nice but overwhelming experience to be with them again. We exchange stories and giggled like kids again. I really like what I felt at that moment and wanting more to be back again. I already missed a lot and this time, I'm not going to let another pass me again.

It's only a portion of my high school batch that I met but I’m truly looking forward for the rest to surface in my peripheral once more.

I miss you guys... I miss all of you. The good and bad times we shared together at that sea-side school up in the north will always be one of the best memories stored up in my system until I go obsolete.

Until the next horse kick, and the angel flies. Lets drink to that!... hehehe!

then the color matched

ok. I've always been intriuge about how those little colored cubes ever colided and match up to form a solid color. it has always been a rainbow to me. Ive spent my entire life geting pist about the knowledge of never being able to solve the magic rubiks.

they said its the nerds game. hell-yeah! i believed that until two weeks ago when i finally pin the puzzle down. i jumped with joy that moment. i am not a nerd nor a geek but i got it right.

now im hook with the little cubey game. an adik for short but im proud to being able to solve its mistery.

twilight of my life

Twilight is a story about a vampire (Edward) and a 16 year old human (Bella).
i first heard about this great book one morning when i was listening to my favorite (or should i say the-only) radio show i listen the "goodtimes with mo" at magic 89.9. it made a bit of a big impact that i made me curious to check it out and download it to their fan-made site.

the intensity it had made in my life was way out of control. I was never taken away by a book like that. it made me impotent and paralyzed from reality for almost 4 days. I was hooked as soon as i read the first page. i couldn’t stop. I didn’t pay attention on anything beside the book. i locked myself up in my room for 2 days without even wanting to go out or even taking the book with me when I take a pee. I eat with eat and didn’t sleep 4 more than 2 hrs in 2days. i was a slave for this creation. I was even surprise for what it did to me since i am not a fan of fictional or horror movies. never did i imagine myself falling in love with a vampire character either. but turned out that there are a lot of things this book let me did.

The first book "twilight" was like the ignition of the fire, you will end up craving for more. the second "new moon" made me cried on the first few chapters and almost stopped me from wanting to read more. but towards the end.. it was ok. Third book "eclipse" was fine and towards the end, it excites me. but the last book "breaking dawn" hit me the hardest. i didn’t took my eyes away from it since start. I cried so many times and giggled while everyone was asleep at 3am. it was so overwhelming that it almost took all my energy.

well after reading, it still had its after shock. i talked of nothing but the book to my friends. It also took a lot of time to get back to reality. i even influenced Karey, ate Brenda, and tin-tin to be just like me "a crazy twilight adik". I cannot write a word that explains how great the book was but all i can say is it was worth sacrificing for. it will change your view of the bloodsucking, prostitute, monster and evil vampire. there is no violence in the book (and i adore the author Stephenie Meyer for her work) and it was properly edited.

as of now.. I’m trying to pull the months faster to November because i can’t wait to watch for its movie on the big screen. Me and my friends are already planning to watch out for it and cant even wait for long... I hope to see you there too...

so to all who are curious and adiks... start typing "twilight" on your search browser and get ready to visit the world of immortals.

is that you?

i have this question to ask. and its been bothering me for days. i just woke up from a big realization or should i say, reality.
ok. lets start, as everybody knows.. i love someone I cannot even be with. we had been together for the first 3 years then i left. the communication goes on and everything.. we had our ups and down like the usual stuff and always end up on patching the problem up. there are days when i ask my self why is this happening. is it me that keeps on holding?.. well, my frequency in going back to see him is only once a year. and its been 10 years now... it took that long before i ask this strange question. do i really love him to hold unto him for this long or is it just my ego that’s speaking so that everyone will be amazed when i say that i have a long time relationship and im doing good in keeping it?.. or is it true love that i can endure this long because his my destiny or is it just me being afraid to let go?

I have so many questions in mind that i myself cannot answer so please do help. i wonder if the reason is that until now, i cannot let go of my past and im living in time capsule. i worried about everything. I think this is the reality i have to face now. I was left behind.. there are things i expect from him that he doesn’t do. I really hate my self for this, am i right about this point?.. I am not dumb about not knowing that people do change as time goes by but my realization about him being the man i use to know cease in no point of view. i see him as i boy i met 10 years back no more no less. well if you agree with me as a result of my seeing him once a year, then im really having a lot of trouble to think about this situation.. I also worry about things that I should not wimp about. If I were you?.. would you keep it that long?.. I also ask, why is He holding on? is it true (gosh, now Im doubting) or he has the same scenario as me not yet awake of the truth...

gosh... i really need i clear thinking about this.. I am in no right mind to think about my self but i have no one to ask that’s why i ask you... please comment.. thanks!

minsan sa tahimik na buhay ni lyra

basta... i feel sick.. i feel bad... i dont want to go home.. gusto ko magbabad sa trabaho until mawalan ako ng pakiramdam. ayoko umuwi at mag isa nnman.. ayoko mag isip kung pano mo ko ginago. ayoko! Ayoko!! AYOKO!!!!.... sayang anf time ko para isipin ka... gosh.. gusto ko naging manhid... bwsit!... inis ako.. grabeh... im so ENGOT... panu mo ko nagagawang tanga?... i know what you're doing pro i choose to be blind on my own way.... AGGGGHHHHHH!!... so pakshet!!... panu?... panu nga? panu kita tatanggalin sa gunita ko... ayo na kita,,, sawa na ko sa kaka intindi ko sau.. tao din ako.. i have my own life.. i want to live my own.. d nalang palaging nag aadjust para sau. tangna nmn... ang sama talaga ng pakiramdam ko... i want to let it out.. sabi mo di tau bagay kasi masyado matayog ang gusto ko marating at di ka nakaka catch-up... what do you think im doing... sa palagay mo i like to be this...? miles away? gago ka pla eh... the only reason why im here is because i am thinking ahead of what will be the best for us.. para maging reality itong seemingly imposible gap na kaylangan natin i conect... AARRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!.... gosh,,,,,, i really need to let my anger go... what do you think guys?... how can i move on?... ive been a slave for 11 damn years.... i am in a relationship for that long that i dont know kung tama pa ba na i keep ko ito or not or either if im doing the right thing or not. d ko lam kung anu na ko.. i dont even know my self.. sa sobrang concentration ko to be devoted and program my damn life for him.. nasiraan na ata ko... di ko na alam kung panu ang life without him kasi he was my first and last. damn!.. im so coward to face reality... alam ko gago ako... i know im taken way forgranted at agrabyado na talaga ako but i just cant seem to face the world without him.. i know what you think,,, that i know i should be strong and leave.. but how?..cge nga?... i was born to be stupid when it comes to this love?.. but who's not? we all are. i just want to know if what Im feeling is still move or not... ok... to give you the simple situation... i am commited as i said before.. im with a relationship from the longest period of time... 11 eleven years... just imagine?... cge nga... oo gago ako... when we were younger,.,, he had GF's other than me.. naging kabit sila... I was still the orig... at least that was what i believed in. we were only together for 3 years.. then i left batanes... i was so young and so much in-love.... i have to admit im a perfectionist when it comes to personal issue.. i wanted everything to be ok... sa sobrang praning ko... di ako nagkaroon ng pag kakataon to entertain other suitors since we parted untill now.. grabeh... pwede na ata ko barilin sa ulo dahil sa sobrang loyal.. he continued having flings... at sabi nya.. he didnt courted nmn daw them.. and they are only friends?... duh?... friends mo face mo?... meron ba friend na ng ttxt in the middle of the night ng i miss you?.... AGGGGHHHHH!!!.... i hate you!... then, the other reason which he told me is because i only come home once a year at matagal na yung 1 week. yun ang mabigat na offense wich im guilty of.. yes... im away...but my heart always stay.... bwisit!... panu ko ba tangalin sa kokote ko ang ulul na yun?... mag bubulag bulagan nanaman ba ako untill forever?... ok ka lang?.. if your a girl?... ok lang ba sau na me ibang kinalolokohan ang BF mo for that simple reason na di naman daw kami nag kikita at nagkakasama while you are all out head-over-heals devoted and loyal to your BASTARD partner?... cge nga?.. i calculate mo nga ang solution sa napaka complicated kong suliranin?... hayzzz..... ang gulo talaga ng life...

hayzzz... basta ayoko pa umuwi at mag isip.. ayoko mapag isa.. mag iisip lang ako... goshh,,,, napaka tanga... buti pa ang iba me mga friends na nakakalabasan ng sama ng loob.. unluckily.. he was my all... so pag ganitong problemado ako.. i could hardly let it out.. its a poison stuck in me forever.. DAMNNNNN!!!!!!!!!! HHHEEEEEELLLLLPPPPP!!!! kaylangan kong bumalik sa katinuan... pa rehab kaya ako....
question is,,, am i willing to feel this pain forever?... EWAN!

Gratitude - Hindi po ito graduation speech…

You read it right. This is not a graduation speech nor my last will. Hehehe!

I just celebrated my 24th birthday and I felt like I have an obligation to thank everyone. Although nothing happened extra-ordinary, I still insist on talking here. Im so sorry if it has to be done this way for most of the people I love are not around to tap their back at this moment.

Gosh…. I’ve been spending to much time on how to thank you guys... but after five tries… I ended with this. It seems I have difficulties in saying thank you personally but I know I have to do it either way.

My family is my life. They will always be in my heart until my last birthday.

To my cousin Tin who treats me like her personal clown, pare mahal ang bayad sa ospital ngaun, baka maloka ka.
To JM & Rodel – ayusin nyo lyf nyo ha. Pakabait lagi.

To my officemates – thank you for understanding me and being my friend through hard and good times.
Ms. Mavic – salamat sa isa na namang taon ng pagtitimpi sa mga kapalpakan ko.
Prens – although we didn’t spent longer time to know each other, I feel like you’re already here in my heart for so long. Naks! (kinopya ko lang yung english na yun) hehehe.
Karey, Ms. Jong, Ate Brenda, Ate Rocky, Ms. Vangie, Rose, Chery, Dada, Ate Nancy, Jera, Jay, Sheryl, IO, Jhona at sa lahat nang makukulit at me topak na kasama ko sa trabaho, salamat sa pag impluwensya nyo sakin para maging mas makulit at mabait na bata.

To my batch mates here kc, jan, joi, den, harvey, girlie and the others, sorry kung naglaho ako. Next time nalang ako taya pag mayaman na ko. Hehehe!

My friends back home – I miss you all and thanks for remembering me.
Olive – no one can replace you to be my bestfriend forever.
Sa batch 01 – tama na inom. Ayusin na natin an gating life. mukhang kaylangan na natin umamin na matatanda na tau.

And to all the people whom I shared my life with, I’m glad our paths cross. People may come and go. Some stay and some move on but I treasure every minute of it without any regret.

I’m thankful for the 24 years that God gave me. For the trials I had encountered. I realize that I wont be this strong without them. If ask for my wish, I wont desire for anything else but the joy and happiness of my love ones. You are my life and I am you. They say love is not selfish and so am I. I love you more than my own.

Hayz…. Nakz… nawindang ako sa haba ng drama at kaseryosohan nito. Its so not me. Gosh..... kalurki,..kulot na tuloy bangs ko.. pwede naman sabihin in one word eh, SALAMAT!.
Tuloy ang ligaya. Salamat nlng at buhay pa ko para mag hasik ng kabaliwan. Bwahaha!

dont laugh at me

I'm a little girl with glasses, the one they call the geek



A little girl who never smiles, 'cause I've got big crooked teeth

And I know how it feels. To cry myself to sleep






I'm that kid on every playground who's always chosen last

A striving loner tryin' to overcome my past



You don't have to be my friend but is it too much to ask?

















Don't laugh at me, don't call me names



Don't get your pleasure from my pain



In God's eyes we're all the same




Someday we'll all have perfect wings





I'm the cripple on the corner you've passed me on the street


And I wouldn't be out here beggin' if I had enough to eat


And don't think I don't notice that our eyes never meet




I lost my heart and life when someone cross that yellow line




That same day I lost my mind.

And right now I'm down to holdin' this little cardboard sign...

DON'T LAUGH AT ME!

I'm fat, I'm thin, I'm short, I'm tall I'm deaf, I'm blind, hey, aren't we all?