i have this question to ask. and its been bothering me for days. i just woke up from a big realization or should i say, reality.
ok. lets start, as everybody knows.. i love someone I cannot even be with. we had been together for the first 3 years then i left. the communication goes on and everything.. we had our ups and down like the usual stuff and always end up on patching the problem up. there are days when i ask my self why is this happening. is it me that keeps on holding?.. well, my frequency in going back to see him is only once a year. and its been 10 years now... it took that long before i ask this strange question. do i really love him to hold unto him for this long or is it just my ego that’s speaking so that everyone will be amazed when i say that i have a long time relationship and im doing good in keeping it?.. or is it true love that i can endure this long because his my destiny or is it just me being afraid to let go?
I have so many questions in mind that i myself cannot answer so please do help. i wonder if the reason is that until now, i cannot let go of my past and im living in time capsule. i worried about everything. I think this is the reality i have to face now. I was left behind.. there are things i expect from him that he doesn’t do. I really hate my self for this, am i right about this point?.. I am not dumb about not knowing that people do change as time goes by but my realization about him being the man i use to know cease in no point of view. i see him as i boy i met 10 years back no more no less. well if you agree with me as a result of my seeing him once a year, then im really having a lot of trouble to think about this situation.. I also worry about things that I should not wimp about. If I were you?.. would you keep it that long?.. I also ask, why is He holding on? is it true (gosh, now Im doubting) or he has the same scenario as me not yet awake of the truth...
gosh... i really need i clear thinking about this.. I am in no right mind to think about my self but i have no one to ask that’s why i ask you... please comment.. thanks!
