malatyat nu viay ku

mindichayakay aku du avak nu masari a malatyat. angu paru panghavas ayan hanebneb nu amyan an manam du kawsup ku du mata ku am nu mareklas mu muyin kan manguhat mu tachay u ichinakuhan ku. Angu chabu mud katangked ku? Angu asbangan mu jaken du malatyat nu viay ku? Ara ka paru masuyut kan manguhat du vayu a pinidi mu? Ichavakel muava yaken ta machihrayay du kadada nu araw am vayaten ku vayu ku viay a masuyut takan kamahep am imu u nguhat ku.

numb

today, i stopped crying. for I have cease to breath the air around me. the pain that I'm feeling can no longer be described. It's just there... or should I say, I'm just there somewhere in the dark cloud of misery that covered me. I may be gone and numb but I'll wait for the tears to flow again and give me reason to live all over again.

the price of being me

there are dark nights of my life that i want to drown in pain. I feel hopeless with no direction. Felt that big empty space ahead of me. I wish I have the reason to live, reason to breath and reason to exist. My tears are all dried out. I can't let them go, I know theirs no one to catch them. I'll be miserable and half dead. Why do I always ask what did I live for if i have no reason to. Forget being fair, never mind my worth 'cuz maybe I should have not been conceived if the only thing that's telling me I'm alive is the pain I'm enduring endlessly.

just not good

One day…. I won’t bleed anymore… I won’t shed a tear… ill smile tenderly when you start to stab that knife in my heart repeatedly. I’ll be gone with peace knowing that you’ve kept your promise of being there till the end. I’ll take my walk thankfully that once… I loved you.

feelings and questions

i know days will come and go, maybe i'll grow old, but i will die for now. is it worth to be sad if it's harder to be glad to be alive? the trouble i have caused, i wonder where i belong, is it here?... as i look around this room, seeing worried eyes that know, its time that we cannot buy. was this worth the time to write?