the book of my life

my cousin kristine once told me that only good girls have diaries and bad bad one's dont have time..

i stand to oppose because sad to say, i have one and i ain't a GOOD girl. infact, i belong to the almost worst one. i dont know since when specificaly ive started but i remember seeing my moms journal when i was just a kid inspired me to do one.

at first, it was just a recycled old notebooks that i used in school where i write. and it was not even consistent. i was just in grade school then, i only write when i hated someone or was happy, and sometimes when there are special occasions in my life that need not to be forgoten...

i wish i could post a picture of my oldest diary but they are all kept in my room at batanes. i remember some lines that i wrote at age 9. "i just made the biggest mortal sin ever in my entire life, i stoned my neighbors chicken to death.". . hahahaha!... that line really made my laugh when i read it after more than 14 years. its really fun to go back and scan the pages back to my past life. i realize many things, like how stupid i use to be. (as if i am not now) hahaha! the friends i met and the places ive been. so with the mixed emotions that i felt.. of course it was not always fun but really... it helps a lot to realize why i should not give up on the trials of life i am facing now.

as the years goes.. it became a part of my everyday life. my highschool journals are among the most colorfull ones while my college are very exciting since it was the time for me to start standing on mu own. i finally got my full independence when i graduated and have a job. my journal became more serius and when you scan through the pages, you can see so much solitude emotions and longging. i have kept the other side of me in my book and i have no intension to share it w/ any one. like i said, i am not a GOOD girl so the cops might come and cuff me if my book will be read by anyone. it is exlusivey for me.

i have posted the image of my 2008 diary so you will have an idea on how it looks. its almost similar to a scrapbook because i have kept some memorable in it, eg. candy wrappers, tickets, reciepts, ect.

i have am not giving you the idea to stole mine, (for God's sake please dont). but i am encouraging you to do so. isnt it good to go back and read all the things that you have done as grow old?.. i like the idea of passing by this crazy world and leaving my writtings and life alive.. or just thinking about sharing what you have done with your kids and grandchildren someday. (just incase you will not have any trouble about forgeting) and it will be in details..

when i read the movie THE NOTEBOOK, i was really inspired.. i can feel my self on their position and thats what i want to end my life with. it is worth the effort.

my friends are amaze why i remember certain days that marked my life and i blame my journal for it. i tell you, at first it was hard... no, it was never easy. because untill now i still have the trouble of consistently updating it.. i dont know if it will last long now that the net is popping up fast and manual writting may extinct.. but i keep my stand still. like i said, my journal became a part of me and it contains so many things that no one has seen of me before or will never be seen.

its really hard because i admit up to now my grammar sucks and my spelling is the worst ever... but writing is my life, my passion, and my depression.

you can start by writting small notes of emotions and keeping it aside, not necessarily everyday but just try... its really fun to remember the past...

as for now, ill let my pen down and started punching the keyboad for this journal. hey.. let me know if you want to exchange ideas w/ me. k...?

get inspired....